Snowboarding
Top 10 Snowboarding Pet Peeves
“Hey, you know what? Actually, I do mind if you hotbox this gondola, yeah.”
10.
Snowboarding’s initial learning curve. I have never met a first-time snowboarder that has picked up the sport without at least half a day of pain. I figure it takes one to three full days of riding before one can start mastering s-turns; this just doesn’t happen in skiing. Once you strap those two slats of wood on your feet, there’s a good chance you can start barreling down the hill. Not so with snowboarding.9. Snowboarding equipment. It seems so simple: boots, board, bindings. But in actuality, it isn’t: do I have enough wax? Did I use the right type of wax? Are my edges sharp enough? I just put a hole in my board. What do I do? My binding broke halfway down the mountain, what do I do now? Etc.
8. Lift lineups. In Ontario, it’s not uncommon to wait half an hour to get up a 700-foot hill. That’s just not right.
7. Lineup jumpers. It Ontario, it’s not uncommon to wait half an hour to get up a 700-foot hill while a bunch of other jackasses only wait 15, because everyone lets them jump ahead in line. That’s just not right, either.
6. Riding alone. Hey, I get lonely easily. And besides, when you ride alone, you do so much of it that you’re tired by lunch.
5. Riding with other people. Damn those slow people in my entourage. Hurry up. I don’t have all day!
4. People who love ‘S’ turns so much, they traverse the width of the run doing them. You know who you are. You may have the right of way because you’re ahead of me, but your giant, slow ‘S’ turns are a hazard to everyone.
(I will NOT blame skiers.. I will NOT blame skiers..)
3. Beginners on advanced terrain. Again, I know you have the right of way because you’re ahead of me. But lying spread-eagled in the middle of the Dave Murray Downhill is, once again, hazardous.
2. Ski patrollers telling me that the day is over and to get off the mountain. No, YOU get off the mountain! I’ll get eaten by a grizzly bear if I damn well feel like it! Clip my pass? The day is over anyway! Mouahahahaha!
1. What? Do I mind? Oh. Well, this is going to make me sound old, but: YES, ACTUALLY, I DO MIND IF YOU SMOKE THAT IN THIS CROWDED GONDOLA. ESPECIALLY SINCE I HAVE TO SPEND THE NEXT 20 MINUTES IN HERE WITH YOU.
Discussion
5 comments for “Top 10 Snowboarding Pet Peeves”
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LMAO!! I love this post and agree with all of them. I was just poking around while I wait for the season and found your post, now I’m not sure that I’m ready yet. Good Luck this year!
Thanks.
Now only if it would snow!!
I take issue with numbers 10 and 1. First 10:
So wrong. A week on skis and you are still barely mastering the wedge. A week on a board and you are able to ride almost anything on the mountain. The progression from green to blue to black on a board is much faster. Looking fluid and good on skis is much more difficult than learning to snowboard. And I think that is one of the main attractions of riding. Skiing takes forever to get good at. Riding takes less time to get adequate at. You have to remember that making parallel turns is different from simply turning on skis. Anyone can turn, but to make fluid linked s turns on skis without any toe drag or wedging takes a long time. But that is a minor quibble.
Bigger quibble with number 10 is this:
With snowboarders, you never quite know what they mean when they ask if you mind if they smoke. I was riding a quad one day with my friend Jake and two boarders and they asked if we minded if they smoked. No big deal because it wasn’t a gondola. UNTIL THEY BROKE OUT THE PIPE. They at least offered us some, which we declined, but they proceeded to smoke up on the lift. Damned snowboarders.
Let me add my biggest pet peeve–
STUPID ASS SNOWBOARDERS THAT STOP AND SIT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RUN. Sit on the edge of the run or get off your sorry ass and get the rest of the way down the mountain. They just stop anywhere they feel like and hang out. Sometimes on blind spots. Sometimes below jumps. And most just sit there and gawk and BS with their buddies.
You don’t see skiers sitting around in the middle of the slopes, but it is not even frowned upon for riders to do it.
Heh heh heh..
Well, I see your point with #1. I should have qualified, perhaps, that I find getting STARTED harder.. but getting BETTER easier. So, while I really believe getting down a hill on day one is more difficult on a snowboard, to your point — I also think it’s harder to become a good skiier than a good snowboarder.
You also make a good point about riders sitting around. Until I read your comment, I had never ever thought of this before, but: it’s way easier to laze around with a board on your feet than it is with two skis! I *have* nearly killed a few riders lined up like pigeons that way..
–adam
Very cool top 10. I recently found a very interesting site about snowboarding http://snowboardtips.net alot of resources and tips.