Snowboarding
Skiers Only? How About Snowboarders Only?
In a previous post some time ago where I spelled “skiers” wrong, I pointed out an article which said several resorts in the United States still ban snowboarders outright.
This got me thinking: what if resorts turned the tables and became
“snowboarders only” resorts? After all, the number of skiers and
snowboarders in the United States is nearly equal, so it’s not like a
larger market is alientated than when a resort designates themselves
“skiers only”.
Imagine. I can think of several immediate changes:
- Less divots in my board thanks to skiers riding over them with their giant skis from Planet Skigantor
- Fewer nasty, pink one-piece snowsuits from Planet Skigantor that went out of style in, like, 1985
- More room on all slopes save for maybe terrain parks
- Fewer
legions of people doing giant beginner ’s’ turns on blue and black runs
(which seems to be a trademark of skiers, for some reason, as opposed
to snowboarders; or at least my unscientific research suggests. I’m
sure skiers have similar complaints. What’s the deal with that?) - A 75% increase in ass kickings received thanks to this slightly tongue-in-cheek post
- 35% less fun.
Then I started thinking about what a “snowboard-free” resort would mean:
- Less
divots in my board thanks to snowboarders riding over them with their
snowboards from Planet Snowgantor. (No, wait, I wouldn’t be there. I
have a snowboard. Crap.) - No pot smoked in line
- 75% less instances of the word “dude”
- 40% less collisions
- Almost empty terrain parks
- 86% less ass cracks due to low hanging pants
- 0 iPods
- 42% less fun.
I’d be interested in hearing more (either way) if you want to leave them below.
Discussion
2 comments for “Skiers Only? How About Snowboarders Only?”
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Interesting. I was at Alta and fanagled a guided resort tour with their PR department. We talked shop for most of the day over Thanksgiving.
Realistically, most resorts could care less about who comes. A lift ticket is a lift ticket and based on my recent article about the economics of skiing, when 50% of your revenue is lift ticket revenue and an additional 20% is on mountain purchases like dining, etc., the object is to get people to come to the slopes.
The point being that being “skiers only” is a point of differentiation that makes one resort (for instance Alta) different from all the other resorts in the same area. Our entire snowsports industry is exclusionary simply based on prices and drive times needed to enjoy the sport, so making something more “upscale” or more “exclusive” gives the resort something that makes it different from the other places folks can go. Think about the Yellowstone Club in Montana where you have to be a gazillionair to own a place and even get into the place. Like Augusta in golf, make your resort more exclusive and folks will go there.
Personally, Alta has a soul. Most mountains don’t. It is not the skiers only part that gives it it’s soul, but rather the snow and the vertical and the folks that go there. You want to be surrounded by hard core folks like you. Not some fat poser from NYC there for his 5 days per year he hits the moutain.
So for that reason, I think it would totally kick ass to have a snowboarders only mountain. But realistically most mountain’s terrain parks are almost exclusively snowboarders anyway. They clump together and sit right in the middle of the damned runs waiting to take their turn on the sissy jumps and thinking they are cool. And since most of my hardcore buddies are boarders, I am the only two plank wank riding with my crew, so I guess in that sense it would suck to not ride together. But I never complain when I am at Alta.
You’re right, terrain parks are almost exclusively rider territory anyway.
Alta looks pretty badass. One of these days I want to check out the resorrts in the western US (Colorado, Utah, etc). It sounds like a different experience at some of the resorts out there.
Thanks for the comment.
–adam